Swedish Sailor Remembers Grog Forgets Wife

NEWS:
A Swedish sailor caused a major sea rescue search today after reporting that his wife fell overboard. Luckily for the wife the police discovered that he had forgotten to take her on the trip, Sweden's English-language news website The Local reported today.

The man sounded the alarm as he sailed near Kalmar, off the southern coast of Sweden, believing that his wife had fallen overboard and drowned.

When rescuers arrived, they found the sailor drifting with a broken tiller, and no sign of his wife. After starting a search, police discovered that the woman was never on the boat and she was subsequently located safe on shore.... Waiting for her husband.

The man was towed back to the dock, where he failed a Breathalyzer test, and was promptly charged with boating while intoxicated.

Teasing Mum

I frequently find myself being a jerk... Recently my mum has become the target of my jerkiness...Growing up I recall many basic rules I now enjoy calling my mum and breaking them over the phone

I can do four or five in one sentence...
"Yes mum everything is good, just sitting here eating cookies really close to the TV ruining my appetite, while I pat the cat backwards and think about playing with matches."

then after a few minutes when the conversation returns to normal

"You know I was just thinking this morning, right before I put on dirty underwear and played in the traffic. that maybe I should take up smoking"

Then I like to say I love you and finish with something like...
"Oh yeah, this afternoon I left the fridge door open and went out for a while. Then later tonight I am going to try to hook up with a girl I have no feelings for at all, oh and I will probably be treating her pretty shabby"